When I decided to be a writer at the ripe old age of 6, I thought I was taking up one mantle. I thought when people asked me what I did, I would say, “I’m a writer,” and that would be the end of it. However, I’ve found in my pursuit of the lofty career that ‘being a writer’ is just an umbrella term.
Even still, if you told me all those years ago that one of the many titles I would assume would be ‘blogger,’ I may not have believed you. Bestselling novelist? Sure. Screenwriter? Why not. Blogger? No, not a blogger. I’m not consistent enough. What would I even write about?
It’s funny how God laughs in the face of our plans.
One Sunday morning, I was standing in church like I always do. Worship filled the room around me, and I wanted to be joyful. Instead, I was plagued with doubt and torment. “God,” I began to pray, “why am I still so stressed? Why doesn’t it feel like I can get a handle on anything in my life? I’m trying, I’m really trying! Can’t you see that? Why am I caught in this place of despair?” No sooner had I finished praying did I hear my Father’s response, clear as a bell:
“What are you chasing?”
It wasn’t a reprimand, nor did it come from an accusatory heart. It was simply a question, and I knew the answer wasn’t a deeper relationship with God. How uncomplicated a solution for such a destructive problem! The Lord asks for our lives and our devotion; but, when you put it in perspective it really isn’t all that much. It isn’t anything He hasn’t already given up for us.
When God asked me that simple question, I experienced a paradigm shift. My mindset stopped being ‘What am I running from?’ and became ‘What am I running toward?” I’m learning to refocus my mind and life on pursuing my God, who loves me and desires for me to know Him more. I’m discovering that everything else stems from that.
Now, God is calling me even farther beyond anything I ever imagined for my life. I’m a full-time university student studying to become a worship leader and every day is a new adventure. I’ve got family and friends who support me and a church that I love. The Lord is faithful and He continues to provide everything that I need- even when it’s not what I want.
Don’t mistake me: I’m not perfect. In fact, I’m embarrassingly far from it, and that’s the best part. Revelation 12:11 says, “And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.” That’s exactly what I’m planning on doing. It’s a leap of faith, and I know it’ll be worth it.
The beauty is in the imperfection. It’s in the uncertainty. It’s in knowing that there is grace enough for your every mistake. Most importantly, it’s in knowing that pursuing Jesus will be the most awesome, incredible adventure of your life.
Welcome to The Beautiful Pursuit.